marriage is between a man and a woman

but beyond that, no holds barred. feel free to use your legal privileges as a straight person to launch yourself into reality tv mediocrity. its the american dream.

CBS has just announced their newest reality show, "Arranged Marriage." in the show, four couples, chosen for one another by their families, will actually legally get married and the show will follow those marriages and see how they turn out. what i'm getting out of this? letting gay people get married would pretty much destroy the fabric of our society, cheapen our family values, and bring about the End of Days with some dramatic rains of fire. but straight people should feel free to use marriage as a publicity stunt, a joke, a fun activity in vegas (don't worry, you can always just cancel it when you sober up!) and whatever the f*ck else they want. sounds about right. as long as the people involved are of opposite genders, its a positive addition to American culture, and jesus will in no way be upset. score one more point for reason and rationality.

i'm sorry jessie

you're right, of course. we have been in no way updating the blog often enough. sometimes i get lazy. so i'm gonna just post something real quick to let the internet know i haven't died, and perhaps i can get this whole 'posting' thing to become a habit again.

the subject today: ignorant people and internet commenting.

so i was reminded today of a long-standing irritation i've had. i went to check some of my blogs i haven't read in a few days, and discovered that sister toldja, who i find to be occasionally hilarious, got herself in a bit of trouble while i wasn't looking. apparently this post got linked on jezebel and, in the eternal words of eddie murphy, white folks lost their motherf*ckin minds. that poor little blog, which usually gets somewhere around 5 comments on a post, suddenly had just about 150, and most of them were mad as hell. if i had to summarize them in just a few words, it would be something along the lines of "you're an ignorant racist bitch, you remind me of hitler, its your fault racism still exists in the world, and as a white person i feel personally attacked and victimized." oh, and about 70% of the comments were posted anonymously. now you see why we don't allow anonymous comments on THIS blog.

so here's the thing thats always bothered me about the internet, and the world of internet commenting:
1) people seem to think its ok to pretend like they don't understand when something's a joke, and then just go off on it like it was an article in the new york times and not a post on a humor blog.
2) people seem to think 'anonymous' means 'i can insult you personally and compare you to hitler.'

and 3, which is the main reason this whole thing fascinated/annoyed me, is that people who (and i'm gonna go out on a limb and make a WILD generalization here) in their daily lives don't give more than a passing thought to issues like racism, homophobia, and social justice in general, who spend their time reading blogs like jezebel and gawker so they can keep up on their celebrity news, but probably don't even know the website for the BBC and certainly don't have any race-themed blogs bookmarked in their browsers suddenly feel the need to get impassioned about something when it happens across their computer screen on their way to some article about natalie portman's latest romance. i'm sorry, but in real life if you came across a group of black people talking about racism, you would keep walking because you would be uncomfortable and uninterested. but on the internet you feel like you have a right to join the conversation? fuck that. this is that brownstoner brooklyn eviction blog post all over again. just because something involving race or class falls into your otherwise wealthy, white, heterosexual internet 'space' doesn't mean you all of a sudden have a stake in that issue. if you spend 98% of your time ignoring issues like that, you frankly have no right to get indignant.

i'm mad late to work so i'm gonna just end this with little to no conclusion, and just leave you with these words of wisdom: the internet is a dangerous place, people. the same person who moves their purse to the other side when you sit down next to them on the train could be getting home, logging on, and trying to make some profound point about race in the comments section of a blog. you would never know.


addition: now that i'm AT work and shouldn't be blogging, i had a great thought and a clarification: i'm not actually mad at jezebel and gawker. both enjoyable websites, and tons of normal and smart people read them. here is my point - if you're going to get righteously indignant about something, you first need to earn some kind of righteousness. so don't pretend to get indignant about something you don't talk about enough to have confidence in your own opinions. express an opinion, sure, but feel free to also recognize you're not the expert.

review: passing strange

I finally saw the musical Passing Strange, which I’ve been wanting to see for some time, last night. I thought it was incredible, and without giving anything major away (I hope, but if you really don’t want anything ruined, I’d stop here) will proceed to explain why.

The play is a coming-of-age story about a young black man from L.A., raised somewhat in the Baptist church and played (intentionally?) by an actor who bore somewhat of a resemblance to a young James Baldwin, who flees to Europe to “find himself” as an artist. The writer, co-composer, etc. etc., Stew, is also the narrator and basically co-lead. And if you haven’t figured out by the end of the play that the story is a bit autobiographical, a subtle face-to-face talk between Stew and the young protagonist, wearing almost-identical outfits, will probably clue you in.

Among the plays many strengths were a number of great songs, fantastic wit and humor (I’m looking at you, English phrases translated into 2-3 sentences by new-to-english Europeans), a great many glorious meta-moments (if you don’t know I love those, we’ve probably never met), and phenomenal acting. Among its weaknesses…I’m actually hard-pressed. I think the only thing that really irked me was the occasional sense of self-importance on the part of Stew, but even that grew on me by the time we got to intermission.

The play was extremely intelligent and handled a lot of issues around black identity, black countercultures, class in the black community, and the quintessential conundrum Baldwin lays out so beautifully in his essay “on the discovery of what it means to be american.” To share a scene with you (to the best of my memory), the main character, in his attempt to be legitimized as a true artist and revolutionary, claims all of black american oppression, saying “you don’t know what it’s like to have to hustle for a dime on the streets of South Central L.A.!” cue narrator: “no one in this play knows what it’s like to have to hustle for a dime on the streets of south central L.A.”

The play was full of this type of social commentary that felt light-hearted, got the audience to laugh, and then brought you back within yourself to realize the gravity of the point made so lightly on the stage. As always, it was fascinating to watch the audience and see who was still laughing when it wasn’t really a joke anymore. The narrator interacted with the audience in a very natural way, the cast interacted with the band equally seamlessly, and the result was a pleasantly self-aware, amusing, and thought-provoking production that I highly recommend to anyone who gets the chance to see it. It was great.

yay

i can't believe it took me like, over a day to notice this, but now that the gays can marry in california, guess who's getting married?





oh ellen and portia - the only celebrity gossip i just can't quit. of course this means that me and portia probably don't have a chance, but i'll get over it.

you know i once had a dream (like an asleep-dream, not a wish dream) that i was a waitress and ellen and portia came to eat dinner at my restaurant. i think i asked for their autographs. that part is a little fuzzy. point is they ended up giving me a house. possibly as a tip, possibly just because they were charmed by me. to date, that is the best dream i've ever had. ellen, portia, if you're reading this, congrats on your engagement. and if you're looking to give out presents, i don't yet have a house of my own. short of a house, small monetary donations are also accepted.

fuck mtv

ok so i'll withhold publishing this post until i get approval from my co-blogger to trash a specific company, but it should be ok, right? because everything i blog is just my opinion. and brittany does not control me. i can hate mtv all i want. and i do. here's why:

so this is a spoiler. but chances are if you don't know who won a shot at love with tila tequila already, you didn't care all that much to begin with. tila chose bobby. ok backtrack a moment, and lets look at the two finalists:

dani: i may have mentioned her in an earlier post. SUPER cute, really genuine and sweet (or at least the cameras portrayed her that way), pretty androgynous, dressed fashionably and definitely not femme-y, refused to wear that crazy bikini outfit tila wanted them to wear in that one episode because "its not who she is," pretty much america's new sweetheart. everyone watching the show is in love with dani. tila seems to be in love with dani, but i guess its always hard to know when you're just watching a show.

bobby: fairly cute (for a boy) but puts way too much gel in his hair, does a couple things that would lead you to believe he's gay and then overcompensates by talking about how much he wants to bone tila all the time. pretty sexist, although they start editing that out more and more in the later episodes and assume you're going to forget some of the shit he said earlier in the season. from upstate new york, homophobic family. he himself seems a taaad homophobic but willing to get over it. not so articulate. sweet and funny, but basically just not as cool as dani.

so its this whole dramatic thing, blah blah blah, tila picks bobby. now first of all let me just point out: BOBBY didn't even think bobby was going to win. which leads you to wonder...

ok so maybe tila really did like bobby better. i find it hard to believe, but maybe. but i still have this sneaking suspicion that MTV planned to have a man win all along. i mean dani is great, but what would it do to tila's career as a sex symbol for teenage boys to have her dating a real live not-what-they-see-in-pornos lesbian? what would it do to mtv to have a show in which a woman actually captured another woman's heart?

i know at this point you're probably saying "kaya, chill the fuck out. its a reality tv show." and i'll admit you have a point. BUT i will continue to whine about this because it actually is really upsetting to me. sure, it is a ridiculous reality show, but if dani HAD won, it also would have really been an amazing thing. i think straight people often forget that even though there are certainly plenty of gays out and about now, it's extremely rare to actually see someone like yourself portrayed as a legitimate person on tv if you're gay. especially if you're a gay woman. like maybe black women can feel me on this: you know that feeling you get when you listen to jill scott and she's really saying some shit that you can relate to? i've never had that feeling.

right up until tila chose bobby and pronounced "i chose a man!" followed by "i can be your wifey," dani was that for a lot of people. and maaaybe tila really did "love dani, but was in love with bobby," but i'm stickin to my story and blaming MTV for taking that away from me.

so like i said, fuck mtv.

and before you ask, yes i do realize its not really "mtv" thats to blame for yet another reaffirmation of the superiority of straight white men, its just mtv this time. but still. fuck 'em.

stop trying to punch God!

Okay, so for those of you who probably got really confused after reading the title of this blog post and subsequently noticing the promotional poster for New Line Cinema's recent release The Golden Compass here is a quick synopsis of 'the deal:'

Okay so basically this movie is based off of the first installment of a set of 3 books written by Phillip Pullman, a great writer, kind of a tool, and an atheist, for those of you who were unaware. Now, for those of you who are somewhat interested in seeing this movie (and the sequels that New Line will no doubt produce) and reading the His Dark Materials books, I will put out the warning now that this blog post will probably contain some sort of story spoilers. So, you know. Be on the lookout for that sort of thing.

Now to get more into the actual substance of this post. I will start by saying that Pullman's novel and the series that it goes with ranks among the top of my all-time favorite books- it's imaginative, well-written and exciting, and I personally think that Pullman does an excellent job of creating fantastical worlds so different from our own and simultaneously linking them all together in a way that allows almost any reader to relate (which is, if you read them, probably a big point). I read the first book when I was about 12 years old and fell in love, but was unable to read the rest for some reason (probably laziness) until this past year, my senior year of college.

So, here comes one of those spoilers for those of you who are beware'ing of them: an interesting and somewhat disturbing feature of the book for me? The fact that they kill God. Or at least the literal figure of God in the worlds of the book. I'll admit that having read the final two books (The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass) as a more mature adult I was able to take this scene for what it was worth- a bit of literary drama dreamt up by an atheist who, when all is said and done, really seems to want people to put a little more thought into their beliefs (since these beliefs can and have driven people to, in some cases, do terrible things). But what are people's reactions?

Well actually, in most cases- absolutely nothing. That's because, even though the books themselves are really great reads, people just don't bother to actually read anything anymore. As a result, although the books were originally published back in 1995 (which means that I read the first one two years after it was published- go me!) now that a film is being made a good 12 years later people have suddenly started getting their underwear in a twist about the basic premise of the film and the books on which it is based.

Catholics are mad because it makes the catholic church look bad. Christians are mad because... it makes the Catholic church look bad, and the whole "killing God" thing at the end really isn't helping matters. But what I find most problematic is that, instead of using this book to better understand the ways of thinking of others and as a tool to strengthen their faith, they immediately have jumped up in arms about it, most probably without even having read two paragraphs of the stories (I'm sure they let their preachers give them the basics of it). I mean.. it's just so.. ignorant.

And don't get me wrong at all- I am Christian myself and am not ashamed or afraid to say that I am a strong believer and have a close personal relationship with God, but that close personal relationship does not allow me to feel threatened by other opinions or shy away from knowledge in fear. It seems to me that if a person is strong and sure in their beliefs then it'd take a lot more than a book and an expensive ass movie to change their minds...

What do you think?

inspiration!!!

i had been wondering what to blog about and drawing a blank. the world? nah. boring. politics? even worse. but inspiration comes in the most unlikely places. and by "inspiration," i mean really hot girls.

ok so no this post is not "meaningful" per se, but it is a TAD meaningful. i'm here to proclaim my love for dani campbell, one of the last two contestants on MTV's "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila." for those crazy folks who haven't been rushing to their tvs at 10 or computers (we don't like to pay for cable) at 11 each tuesday to catch the show, the basic premise is that Tila Tequila, of myspace "fame," is bisexual, but no one knew that until episode 2 of her reality show on MTV. so she got like 16 guys and 16 girls there under semi-false pretenses (always a great way to ensure drama!) and then announced she was bisexual, and made them ALL compete for her heart. the show is ridiculous. and by "ridiculous" i mean "so great." everyone on it is totally insane. but i digress. dani.

so of the people who made it into the final like, not a million people, dani was the only even semi-androgynous type girl. tila claims that she usually goes for really feminine girls, but dani is now the only girl remaining on the show, so i guess someone's had a change of heart. thank god. because most of the "feminine" girls on the show were actually more "batshit crazy" than anything else. except amanda. who was "freakishly strange looking." but again, i digress.

my point is this:
a) everyone should watch this show and dani should win because she's great.

b) the reason she's great is she's just a normal-ass person instead of a crazy person. you know, like she's nice, and considerate, and generally doesn't make a fool of herself.

c) its actually kind of cool because now dani has this like, GIGANTIC fan base (even bigger than tilas, according to mtv's website!) which is probably some kind of television first. so this is actually kind of a big deal. regardless of whether she wins or not (she better win), i feel like all of a sudden a lot of people who watch mtv think that butch (or "futch," as dani likes to say) lesbians are cute, instead of weird. so thats some kind of victory.

anyways, thats pretty much all i have to say about that. go ahead and check it out. you know you want to.

over and out.

Theater Review: Yellow Face

that's right, i'm a city girl now. and that means i can go to the theater and write reviews of it.

ok, maybe thats not the "exact" definition of "city girl" these days, but i think my main point here is that i saw a play the other day and i thought it was good, and i feel like sharing.

so the play was David Henry Hwang's "Yellow Face," which I had not even heard of, seeing as how i never hear about things until someone calls me and tells me about them. but apparently its been getting rave reviews, and i see why. the play was autobiographical/fictional, which is already fun because especially if you're someone like me who didn't know anything about the story until you saw the play, you're always wondering which part is which. the basic premise is that after a controversy (not fiction) in which a white british actor was cast as one of the leading asian roles in Miss Saigon, the main character (who is based on AND named after the playwright) becomes involved in protests of "yellow face." things take an awkward turn for him, though, when he accidentally casts a white man as the leading asian role in his play that is supposed to be a satirical critique of yellow face. he manages to fire the actor, but the play flops anyways and the actor, Marcus, having finally found that feeling of acceptance he's always craved among the asian american community, uses that moment to propel himself into a career as an asian actor. and no one notices that he's white.

thats pretty much the end of the first act, and i have to admit that at that point, i was still confused. i liked the play, but i was having trouble connecting to it. act two really stepped up its game, though. act two brings you into the real-world moment in which wen ho lee was accused of being a spy, and fear of china was "in" ...again. the protagonist's father is being investigated for "suspicious" money transfers to his bank from a bank in beijing, and the white actor now calling himself "Marcus Gee" is at the forefront of asian-american activism protesting it all. the protagonist/playwright has a very powerful stand-off with an unnamed new york times reporter (if i knew more, it would be "obvious" who it was, but alas), and the play ends in a bonanza of meta moments (god i love those) in which the protagonist and marcus discuss their roles in the play.

ok so maybe that summary didn't make THAT much sense. i'm not an actual theater critic. i just wanted to give a summary in case it inspired you to go see it. anyways my point was, i thought this play was amazing. it was one of those things where as you're watching it you just have moment upon moment when all of a sudden you get exactly what the playwright is talking about. like the moment in the stand-off with the reporter in which David Henry Hwang asks why he is criminalizing chinese-americans, claiming that it would be like suspecting the reporter of being un-american and pro-white. "but there is no conflict between being white and being american," the reporter exclaims. bam. brilliant writing.

this play does a wonderful job of taking a number of relatively simple, unsurprising moments and revealing just how ridiculous and shocking they are, and their importance to the fucked-up nature of our society's issues with race. i could pretty much ramble on forever about how i enjoyed it, but the point is it made me think, so you should see it, because it will make you think too.

he's an idiot, but y'all knew that

da big boss coon, yeah he had to do that...

i hate to even give it publicity, but i saw this on one of my favorite blogs, and i couldn't NOT pass on the info. in fact, i won't even explain it. just watch this:




and this...




i guess he couldn't let flava flav take ALL the coonery. that would just be unequal distribution of coonin'.

in lighter news...

queen latifah is engaged to her "secret" girlfriend, jeanette jenkins. awww. i mean who was she ever trying to fool, but still. i'm happy not to have to read about it in O.K. magazine anymore. because i'm trying to quit that shit. its unhealthy.

point is, thats fun. power to the people. although the comments sections on some of these gossip blogs might make you a little sad, so be warned.

i'm making a list

i might not bother checking it twice. but the list of people who are "dead to me" just grows by the hour.

admittedly today's subject, sarah silverman, has been dead to me for quite some time. ever since i saw her feature-length special...what was it called again? oh yeah, "jesus is magic." anyways, that such a huge waste of life that i wrote her off forever. but lately i've been seeing her face on the train a lot, apparently because she has her own show. now answer me this: why would comedy central devote a whole show to sarah silverman? perhaps equally important, why would they then let her do a whole show in blackface?

yes, you heard right. sarah silverman is doing blackface now. you can check out a clip of it here (even though i hate giving her publicity), or click "older videos" on this list to find all of them.

so i shouldn't even have to say much more than that, but i will say just a couple things:

1 - blackface is never funny. people like sarah silverman and those who watch her show think "oh but dave chappelle did it that one time, so why can't i?" they clearly only watched the preview of chappelle's show, because any time blackface appears in the context of socially context black comedy or film, its not FUNNY. its uncomfortable, and its commentary. when spike lee made "bamboozled," i don't think he wanted you to laugh. when dave chappelle did "whiteface" on his show, he wanted you to think. sarah silverman doesn't even know HOW to think. which is how this show came into being, apparently.

2 - there is like, some kind of epidemic spreading of people doing ridiculous shit on tv and then claiming free speech, or that they didn't mean to offend, or blaming "pc culture" for making them the victim of some kind of "high-tech lynching" (thats right clarence, you get a shout-out). i don't really get that argument. like if you want free speech, take it. but if you say or do something hateful, "free speech" does not mean "no one can get mad." it means "you can't get arrested and thrown in jail for saying that." so congratulations, racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. etc. etc. people: you're not in jail. but your show still fucking sucks. and i'm not going to watch it, and also i hate you.

3 - on a personal level, sarah: you are not funny. ever. obviously this blackface thing wasn't funny, but also you are never funny. how did you get a show? like seriously. anyone who has ever seen her perform for more than like, 30 seconds can probably back me up on this: she must have learned in some class that "incongruous" is a small component of comedy, and then dropped out. so she says and does stupid shit and then looks at you like "isn't it funny that a small white jewish girl said that?" and you're like, "no..." and then she does it again. anyone on the planet could do a better job at comedy than sarah silverman just by getting drunk and standing on a table. she's ridiculous. she's dead to me. oh and sarah, in case you're reading this, in addition to the blackface, i also didn't think your immigrant jokes were funny, and i thought your rape jokes were in poor taste too.

the tale of al snore and his wildly undeserved fame

i wanted to write this a few days ago but i got lazy, so we'll all just have to deal with that. here's the thing: Al Gore just won the nobel peace prize. or half of it, technically, i guess. congratulations and all that, but come ON. are we serious? i really honestly would like someone to explain to me what exactly al gore has done that deserves any kind of prize at all, yet somehow he's managed to scoop up an oscar AND a nobel prize. did anyone besides me even SEE his movie? wait, did i say movie? i meant power point presentation. and it looked like he used one of the pre-made templates for it. talk about a big payoff for something that probably took him 2 hours to make.

here's the thing: it seems like all the conservatives are all pissed about al gore winning the nobel prize, and as a result all the liberals are rushing to his defense and congratulating him. perchance could this be yet another example of liberal political thought in this country being nothing more than a reaction to conservative thought? i mean i don't like ann coulter any more than the next person (that's a lie, i'm kind of amused by her), but that doesn't mean i'm going to eat shit just because she says she finds it disgusting. i'm here to say it once and for all: Al Gore's movie was the worst fucking movie i've ever watched, and I think america should be embarrassed that it's gotten as much publicity as it has.

now i'm in no way trying to say that the issues themselves aren't important. global warming is a HUGE issue, and i bet there are tons of people right now who actually spend their lives working on environmental issues that legitimately deserve a nobel prize. but al gore did not get a nobel prize for helping the environment. he got a nobel prize for helping make global warming a sexy issue. and he made it sexy by being already famous, because apparently americans are too stupid to pay attention to an issue if it doesn't have a famous face attached to it. i mean i get it. if he hadn't made "an inconvenient truth," maybe no one would have watched any of the actual movies about the environment, and maybe the oscars wouldn't have 'gone green' this year and blah blah blah. but if you can get a nobel prize just for having a memorable face, i think michael jackson got robbed. twice.

i guess at the end of the day, it boils down to two main things that are really pissing me off:

1) that it took almost-president al gore making a shitty movie and hiring some really REALLY good PR reps for people in this country to even notice the damage we're doing to the environment, and chances are people will forget about it as soon as celebrities stop talking about it and we'll all drown in the next hurricane

and 2) that people who have probably spent their whole lives working towards an oscar or working towards a nobel prize got robbed this year by a dopey-looking dude who can't even make a halfway decent power point presentation. i mean seriously. if your documentary had been nominated for an oscar this year, how would YOU be feeling right now? al gore is sitting there with his on some shelf in his house thinking "oh that old thing? i had my assistant make that movie on his lunch break."

damn.

color television

..Okay sorry, I couldn't help it. Lol.
Anyway, as I've been sitting home and resting on my little bit of time off from working most of my activities have centered around catching up on cable television. Okay, so most of my one main activity. And if you know much about me, you know that I can a.) obviously get annoyed by most people and most things going on today (which can be seen on this blog) and b.) I love cartoons and children's programming in general. While at home my television is pretty much regularly set on Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel, and I stay watching shows like SpongeBob SquarePants and Jake Long American Dragon. For anybody who shares this should-have-been-outgrown-but-is-still-fun sentiment of mine, you know that these shows (while often sickeningly corny or sweet) are generally a really great time. Most of the time they give kids valuable lessons while providing harmless entertainment. Not to mention these shows really touch kids, and definitely have a huge influence on shaping entire generations (come on, how many of us don't get excited when somebody brings up when All That was actually good, or when talking about old episodes of Salute Your Shorts or Eureka's Castle?)- and what works at shaping these kids and developing strong brand loyalty? Relating. At least in the sense of having characters, situations and environments that really speak to a child's reality- after all, how can you get lost in a world when you can't really see yourself in it? And what makes a show really great? When it relates to minority audiences.
Yep, people of color have saturated popular culture, and while we don't control most of the wealth in this society, we definitely control a large cornerstone of its buying power (which is a problematic issue that I won't even get started on right now). Obviously this has been getting more and more well-known to corporate America, who has in turn developed whole genres of movies, music, product lines and commercials to serving this previously under-served and often ignored audience. The world of media & entertainment has caught on as well, and over the past 8 or so years has really ramped up programming that focuses on characters of color. And who has done this really well in my opinion?
Disney.
Yep, ironically enough the corporation founded by and named for a huge racist, bigot, anti-semetic asshole has provided at least two really good shows centered around a black family. One, which I'm sad to say has been canceled, was The Proud Family. Focused on Penny Proud and her friends, this show did a really good job of attracting a Black audience (a Destiny's Child made theme song? Yeah) and sticking close to themes used by other children's shows (honesty, hard work, unconditional friendship, etc.) all while still feeling really genuine. What I mean to say is that The Proud Family didn't just feel like a regular cartoon with Black people pasted in, it felt very natural. Another show that accomplished this same genuine feel was definitely That's So Raven. Using Raven's great ability at physical comedy (I'll probably be roasted by someone for saying this, but she's often really reminded me of a young, Black Lucille Ball) along with a cast whose acting styles really blended well with Raven's extravagance and eccentricity, Disney was able to deliver a show that was entertaining to everyone, but could really reach out to a young Black audience.
While I love Disney for these shows, I also love me some Nickelodeon, and for a while was annoyed that they seemed for some reason to be seriously sleeping on an audience of color. Yeah there use to be Taina and Keenan and Kel, but shows like that have been long since canceled and other shows like Zoey 101, The Naked Brothers Band and Ned's Declassified have taken over. And don't get me wrong, these shows are cute (I actually really enjoy Ned's Declassified, that kid is hilarious) but there's a serious lack of color.
So where does the color come in with Nickelodeon?
Nick Jr.
So yeah, this is definitely not that tween audience that most companies seem to be clamoring for, but it's still a really impressionable audience that could be served well by having characters to whom they can relate. And, interestingly enough, Nick Jr. is serving up minority programming in a really innovative way. And no, I'm not going to be talking about Dora the Explorer or Go, Diego, Go! but I'm going to focus on some equally great shows.
First up- The Backyardigans. This show is, in addition to being incredibly cute, secretly for Black kids! Okay, so obviously it's for everyone, but with a Black female creator and characters named things like Uniqua, Pablo and Tyrone, this show is definitely for children of color. My first encounter with The Backyardigans was when my friend Tiff told me "there's a show with Black kids singing on Nickelodeon!" and then urged me to check it out as soon as I could. So I did, and I'll admit that first I was a little thrown off by the fact that none of the characters are actually humans or like, you know.. correctly colored even for the animals that they represent, but I immediately warmed up to it. These "backyardigans" use their rich imaginations to create entire worlds in the back yards where they explore typical kid issues all while being surrounded by great imagery and making use of a really amazing soundtrack. Not to mention Nickelodeon does a great job of serving a minority audience not by simply having a cast of minorities, but by completely integrating them into the programming- children of color voice the characters and the characters are given what most people would classify as typical "urban or ethnic" (read: Latino or Black) names, kind of giving the feeling that of course it's natural for them to be in this setting because they are as much a valuable part of this society as anybody else. So yeah, I basically have a new spot in my heart for this cute bunch of back yard kids.
But Nick Jr. hasn't stopped with The Backyardigans in its interesting use of and appeal to minority audiences. Another show that has recently premiered on the daytime network for children is Yo Gabba Gabba!, a show that uses hip hop and dance to help kids play to learn. Okay, so when I first heard of and saw a few clips of Yo Gabba Gabba! on YouTube I was definitely not impressed, and was almost a little annoyed at the whole fried-chicken song (I can't find the clip, but yeah..). However today as I was sitting around watching t.v. I flipped to Nickelodeon and found an episode of the new show and was almost immediately drawn in. And I'm 22. Okay okay, so I already admitted that yes, I am oldish and I love children's programming, but this show is like actually freaking great. Maybe it's just me and my generation, but the way it uses hip hop beats reminiscent of old-school along with bright colors and shapes and a really interesting 90's aesthetic (down to the pixelated video-game backgrounds used as sedge ways between games and dances) this show really masters playing to learn and does a great job of getting kids up and moving (an issues of increasing relevance in a society that is definitely saturated with weight problems in all age demographics) while showing that different kinds of musical aesthetics have value. So you can see what I mean, here's a clip of the intro to this show in action..

The point of this rambling? I really love kids shows, and I'm really pleased at what I've been seeing develop over in the pre-K area of entertainment for kids- I'm really excited to see what they come up with next.

like the such as and south africans in the iraq

Sigh.

This is sad on so, so so so many levels. Number 1: That question wasn't really a great question to have to answer in like 60 seconds, plus it's such a ridiculous statement that part of me can't even blame this poor girl for stumbling around in the dark recesses of her vacant brain searching for an equally incoherent answer (a quest which she clearly over-delivered for). Number 2: The Iraq? South Africa? Asian countries? Word? You couldn't pick one country in Asia? This is just.. ugh, blah...
And here I am sounding equally incoherent. Want to know why? Because Miss Teen South Carolina just coughed up a big ball of ignorance and hurled it at the face of every single person unfortunate enough to have seen/heard her answer (which includes you now, thanks to me :D). Stuff like this makes my head hurt because of the fact that it puts you face to face with thick ignorance that blankets so much of America. So maybe some Americans can't locate us on a map, yes, that is a severe problem probably more attributable to the fact that we have a shameful lack of focus on geography in public school education- but what I find slightly more troubling is that, while we are at war, in an age of incredibly tense international relations, this girl can't even pick a few countries out east other than the ones she's heard buzz words about.

Let's hope our government is a little better at picking out countries on a map. We're good with Iraq and I think we've almost located North Korea, now we just gotta find North Africa and we'll be fine.

...oh, Kaya has informed me that Africa has more than two countries. I guess further investigation is necessary.



And for pure enjoyment...

Wasn't that hilarious? I thought so. :D

the bourne audacity?

So a friend and I went to see The Bourne Ultimatum last night. First off- that movie was freaking great. If you like action, action, and... oh what else? Action- then this movie is for you. Also the plot was pretty okay, mostly it was the fight scenes and the suspense that kept me interested.

Anyway, this blog isn't a movie review, it is mostly a recounting of the events that transpired at the Lincoln Center AMC on 66th and Broadway, and about how people on the Upper West side (particularly older people.. particularly old white women) can be completely out of their minds. The best way to tell this is probably in a little narration, so go ahead and sit back and enjoy the story.

***
Two girls walk into a theater, excited about the action movie that they're about to see. With a week filled with the monotony of office work and the dull buzz of computer monitors taking a quick break to enjoy a bit of heart-stopping action is just what they need.
As they stepped into the actual theater the sticky floors and the slight smell of stale popcorn overcame them, as well as the realization that this, unfortunately, was a small, old-fashioned theater- the kinds with seats designed just so that each and every moviegoer can be lucky enough to have their very own head partially blocking their vision. Just their luck. Despite all this the girls are determined to have an excellent time, after all, they've been looking forward to this for a while, and it wouldn't make sense to let some architect's half-developed idea of sight and comfort disrupt their evening.
"So what were you saying before?" Brittany asks her friend, anxious to hear the rest of a really good bit of gossip.
The previews begin, and so AJ lowers her voice and moves up in her seat a little in order to finish the story quickly and quietly. "Oh, yeah- so when she said that you could tell that people felt really awkward, everybody was just looking at one another-"
"Excuse me!" A voice exclaims in an exasperated tone.
The two girls turn around, not understanding if the voice was directed at them. They turn and a woman with sharp features, short hair and incredibly disdainful eyes stares them down. They look at her, still slightly confused that she would have the audacity to interrupt them, and continue to speak, albeit more softly.
"EXCUSE me!!!!" The voice returns and the woman, seated next to Brittany, leans in, as though preparing to discipline a child or student of hers.
Annoyed, Brittany responds: "Yes?"
"You're talking and I'm trying to watch this!"
"Well excuse me, but it's the previews, they've only just started, and you have no right to tell us what to do. You are not our mother, and quite frankly, you're being very rude."
"What? I said excuse me!" Visibly thrown off, she puffs herself up in her seat a bit more, like an ruffled bird attempting to look menacing, all the while her quiet husband sinks slightly in his chair.
"Maybe so, but your tone was incredibly disrespectful. I appreciate that you said excuse me, but next time show a little more respect. Thank-you. I'm going to enjoy the movie now," Brittany responds, looking the woman directly in her eyes before turning back to AJ, shaking her head and laughing quietly.
***

Okay, so that's all of what I'm going to write that way, but suffice it to say that crazy lady was decidedly a psycho. She actually took it upon herself to tell the married couple in front of her to stop being so close because she "couldn't see," to which the husband responded that she shouldn't have sat her [dumb ass] in the back row, and that he could hug his wife if he wanted to.
Oh, and as the movie started, during the quiet dialog in the beginning these two crazy old ladies enter the theater, loudly asking "IS THAT A SEAT?" in raspy voices throughout the entire theater, at EVERY aisle.
Also then this guy started talking on his phone at several intervals. Loudly. He was in another section of the theater and I knew that he had to "give the keys to Chris" at some point later in the day.
It's like, damn- really? Word? They all made so much noise and were so rude, probably mostly because they felt entitled, because they could do whatever they want. The lady that had the nerve to try to correct me and my friend's behavior? She probably thought she could say whatever she wanted because we were young and (yes, this could have counted to for all you "race isn't anything" people out there who for some crazy reason read this blog) racially 'othered' in that almost-all-white theater. And what's more, she probably didn't expect me to respond the way I did- she probably expected me to be rude and disruptive (warranting my removal from the theater) or to just quietly acquiesce to what she wanted. But no, sorry lady- I'm going to stand up for myself, you have no right to tell me what to do in that way. yes, you are my elder and I will be respectful, but I will not be deferential, especially not to somebody who thinks, for whatever reason, that I am bound to obey them at the drop of a hat.

Woo-sah.

All this goes to say that white (and old!) people- you are just as crazy/loud/embarrassing and rude as any other minorities or teenagers. Please do not continue to act like your shizz don't stink- because it stinks up entire theaters!

!

The new Harry Potter movie and book are out. Are you watching/reading? I know I am.
That is all.