Saturday, May 31, 2008

dear douchebag in my building-

I really don't like you.  In fact, I may actually hate you.  I understand that you want to pay cheap rent and still follow your dreams of living in the big city.  So you split a bedroom in anapartment with your girlfriend, even though you know you're visibly uncomfortable around all of the 'colored' people surrounding you.

So you come out of your unit and you smile and say " hi, nice to meet ya!" with your douchey square plastic-framed american-apparel-looking glasses and rush down the stairs.  But when that old Black woman takes a long time moving her walker up the stairs instead of offering to help her with bag of stuff she's juggling you look annoyed and huff past her, thinking that nobody sees you.  But I see you.  I know you.

You smile at the women in the building even though we can very clearly hear the big arguments you and your roommate have, and have deduced that you two share a, to say the least, slightly abusive relationship.

So, in short- you suck.  I'll be glad to no longer be your neighbor.


kaya said...

dear similar douchebag in my building:

its not ok to abuse your dogs, your girlfriend doesn't like you, and keeping the A1 steak sauce 'next to the bed' is unsanitary. also, you have a terrible singing voice. throw away 'garage band' and get a job.

Tiffanye said...

Britt - this was an excellent post. I hate him too. Down with insincere slummers! Kaya - your neighbor sounds hilarious.