Tuesday, January 22, 2008

in lieu of the substantive

My top five list of dirty things I saw or had the misfortune of experiencing this week.

5.) A lady pulls her cart up to the check-out of Bed, Bath & Beyond with her puppy in the little part for kids, and the puppy (which is really a dog, a Shih Tzu, I'm pretty sure) is laying on a blanket she has for it, for comfort. A manager comes up, and points to the dog saying "What is this??!?!?!?" and the lady looks confused. I watch and am confused, because this guy loves dogs and is always talking about them (don't ask why I know this). It turns out that the blanket did not belong to the lady, but to the store, and that she intended to put it back when she was done shopping. Needless to say, they made her buy the blanket.

4.) A rat chasing a mouse (or another, smaller rat) on a subway platform. The rat caught the mouse and then bit it. Then they fell into some dirt and scuttled away.

3.) While waiting at the corner of 44th and Broadway I breathed some of the sewer gas that comes out from that manhole all the time. Into my mouth. I tasted sewer for like 3 minutes afterwards.

2.) This little old lady wipe her nose on a shirt in Hamilton Palace. Luckily I was buying a microwave. And it was in a box.

And the number one dirt fact of my week

1.) A guy pick up his dog's poop with his bare hand. No lie. Got an eyefull of that jewel this morning.

Sorry Kaya, I know you're trying to write things that are "meaningful" and "smart" but I thought it would be fun to go "tasteless" and "pointless" since I haven't written in so long. ;)


kidbonita said...

i dunno what to say about anything other than #3 - try having gum handy to take over the taste of the nasty-ness.

kaya said...

i'm horrified by your last story. absolutely horrified. now i'm going to have to skip lunch.

in other news, i saw a dude pick his nose and wipe it on the subway pole the other day. COME ON, people.

emily2 said...


i am amazed that all of us who live in the nyc area haven't been stricken with a staph infection from all the nastiness.

icarus said...

#4 made me laugh out loud in the office.