in lieu of the substantive

My top five list of dirty things I saw or had the misfortune of experiencing this week.

5.) A lady pulls her cart up to the check-out of Bed, Bath & Beyond with her puppy in the little part for kids, and the puppy (which is really a dog, a Shih Tzu, I'm pretty sure) is laying on a blanket she has for it, for comfort. A manager comes up, and points to the dog saying "What is this??!?!?!?" and the lady looks confused. I watch and am confused, because this guy loves dogs and is always talking about them (don't ask why I know this). It turns out that the blanket did not belong to the lady, but to the store, and that she intended to put it back when she was done shopping. Needless to say, they made her buy the blanket.

4.) A rat chasing a mouse (or another, smaller rat) on a subway platform. The rat caught the mouse and then bit it. Then they fell into some dirt and scuttled away.

3.) While waiting at the corner of 44th and Broadway I breathed some of the sewer gas that comes out from that manhole all the time. Into my mouth. I tasted sewer for like 3 minutes afterwards.

2.) This little old lady wipe her nose on a shirt in Hamilton Palace. Luckily I was buying a microwave. And it was in a box.

And the number one dirt fact of my week

1.) A guy pick up his dog's poop with his bare hand. No lie. Got an eyefull of that jewel this morning.




Sorry Kaya, I know you're trying to write things that are "meaningful" and "smart" but I thought it would be fun to go "tasteless" and "pointless" since I haven't written in so long. ;)